Throughout my life, I've dreamed of several different career paths; obstetrician, fashion designer, midwife, party planner, pastry chef, well-kept housewife (I'm still considering that last one...). I have worked in retail, sales, administration, in-home childcare, and now - nursing. Needless to say, I have never really known for sure what I wanted to be when I grew up; with one exception.
One of my most vivid childhood memories is playing "Interview" with my older sister. The game essentially involved us using our micro cassette recorder (remember those??) to ask each other totally creative and in-depth questions like "what is your name" and "how old are you"
{Here we are being cute, telephone earrings and all...}
I remember one specific interview in which Nancy asked me how old I was. I answered honestly "Four" and then immediately added "wait, wait, wait, Nancy, go back. I want to be a mother"
I wanted to be a mom. I still want to be a mom. I've always wanted to be a mom. It's one of the only things that's ever been for sure.
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When I was almost 15 I was diagnosed with a genetic condition that makes pregnancy impossible. Not unlikely, not difficult; impossible. Never gonna happen. No way, no how. My body was not designed to do what "women are designed to do."
Because of my medical condition Kain and I knew before we got married that someday we would adopt. We didn't have a choice, but we also didn't need a choice. We love the beautiful correlation between adoption and our relationship with Christ. Through salvation we are adopted into the family of God. We are given an identity as His child. We call on Him as our Abba, Father.
Adoption wasn't our Plan B. Growing our family through adoption is what we want. It's what we're working for. We don't feel like we're settling for second best, or secretly wishing we could have "real children". We are purposefully and intentionally moving toward our goal of adopting a child and welcoming him or her into our forever family.
If infertility is part of your story, I'm praying for you. I know the longing. I know the desperation. I know how infertility makes you feel incomplete. I've been the girl crying in the bathroom after ANOTHER friend announces a pregnancy. My friend, you are not alone. Wherever your path is leading, you have my prayers. You have my support. And you have a place with Christ. Turn to Him. Give Him your pain.
If you need an ear, that's what this is all about! Send me a message, leave me a comment, and let me travel with you!!
