Dear Baby

I've been writing these notes for our baby for over a year and a half as we have anticipated their arrival.  Find out more about them here

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Dear Baby,

This is my favorite time of year.  The weather is perfect for jeans and sweaters and boots, the decorations are warm earthy tones of golden and green and orange, there's pumpkin flavored EVERYTHING.  I just love fall. 

But this year, it's different.  It's not just about all of my favorite things.  This year, fall is about YOU!

Your arrival is getting closer every day.  We're down to just over 2 weeks (!!) and that anticipation and excitement is making this fall so much more than just fun and tasty.  It makes this fall JOYFUL.

Baby, we are so ready for you! We are so ready to see you, to hold you, to provide for you.  We are so ready to kiss your cheeks, to feel your breathing, to watch you grow.  We are so ready to play with you, to figure out your favorite things, to rock and cuddle you.  We are just ready. 

19 sleeps, baby.  That's all that separates us.  I can't wait!!!!

Know that we are praying for you every day, and for your birth mom too.  We are praying for your health and your safety, for your growing body, for your developing mind.  And for her heart - it will be broken by this, I'm sure. But we pray now that God will bring her healing and will be ever present during her pain and sorrow.

You are so special already, baby.  You are so wanted.  You are so so so loved.

See you soon, sweet one.  Until then, rest and grow my tiny blessing.  

All my love always,

Mommy

Dear Baby

See what "Dear Baby" is all about here

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Dear Baby,

You're almost here!! Do you know how much we love you already??? Ugh, so much that our hearts ache!!

You are such an incredible, unbelievable answer to our years of praying.

Baby, Daddy and I got to meet your birth mom a few weeks ago, she is so sweet and kind and smart and beautiful.  She has a huge heart.  She made us laugh.  I hope that you are like her in all of those ways.

As we get ready in these last few weeks, I'm praying constantly for you.  I pray that your little body is growing and resting and all your little tiny baby organs are up for the challenge of life on the outside.  I pray that you enter this world completely anticlimactically. No drama, no problems, just straightforward and simple.  I pray for your birth mom.  I pray with fervor that she is preparing her heart for this completely impossible decision. I pray that she has supportive family and friends surrounding her.  I pray that she trusts us, that she has peace from Jesus, that she is ready. 

I have been getting your nursery ready for you.  I hope you like it! I think it's super fun, so bright and cheery.

Do you know that your dad and I picked out your name this week?? It's not what I thought it was going to be...  And I love it!  I can't wait for you to hear us say it to you.  I can't wait to give you a new identity as our baby.  That means more than just a name, but a name is a beginning.

Baby ... My heart is so full!! There are so many things to say to you.  All in due time.

For now, baby, just know that I am missing you, loving you, and waiting as patiently as possible for that day when our eyes meet.

I can't wait!!

All my love,

Mommy

Dear Baby

See what this Dear Baby stuff is all about here

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Dear Baby,

It has been so busy here lately!

I want to tell you about Christmas.  This year was different.  My side of the family gathered a few days before Christmas and did the normal family stuff.  It was short and sweet, but we had a really nice day.  We were able to take this family picture:

The whole big crazy bunch

Here are a couple other pictures from that day

With Aunt Nancy

I made this blanket for Grandma's Christmas present.  It was a labor of love

Your loving Mom and Dad

A few days before Christmas, we had dinner with your Dad's side of the family.  I had to work that day, so I showed up late.  But it was still a nice night.  We snapped this nice family photo:

Love these folks!

The festivities continued!  Christmas Eve morning we went to your Dad's parents house and opened stockings and presents.  We went out to lunch and had a lovely day.

That night, we went out to dinner with Grandma and then went to church for our traditional candlelight gathering.  At church, Daddy and I read a passage of Scripture and Grandma read a Children's story.  It was wonderful as always.

On Christmas Day, I had to work.  I hated to be away from Daddy on Christmas, but I kept reminding myself that it was an opportunity to serve people who were also away from their families.  It was a pretty quiet day at the hospital.  Not too bad, really.

That night, Daddy and I exchanged our presents.  Simple and sweet.  A precious time of loving on each other by giving gifts.  Quite possibly our last Christmas with just the two of us at home.  That's an exciting thought!

You were on my mind during all of these parties, lunches, and gatherings.  I kept dreaming about spending Christmas with you.  I can't wait to watch your face when you open gifts, take you to see sparkling lights, give you your first taste of a soft buttery Snickerdoodle cookie... 

And mostly, I can't wait to tell you about the reason why we celebrate - not because of Santa, not because of commercialism, but because of Jesus.  Because Christ humbled himself and became a baby born in a dirty barn to impoverished teenage parents so that years down the road he could die on a cross to save us from the punishment we deserve for our sins.  I can't wait to tell you about his love for you.  It's the most important lesson I will ever share with you.  It's a huge responsibility.  I don't take it lightly.

Baby, I hope to see you soon.  I can't wait to get into our new house (did I tell you we bought a new house??) and set up a nursery for you.  I can't wait to hear your laugh and run my fingers through your hair.  I just want to be with you... It's hard to wait!  

Rest and grow little baby.  Wherever you are, rest and grow.

Always,

Mommy

Dear Baby

Dear Baby is an open letter I write to my future child.  Read more about why here

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Dear Baby,

Thanksgiving was last week.  Your family gathered together and cooked and ate and laughed and played cards.  The littles played games and watched videos and read books.  It made me so happy to know that someday, you'll be surrounded with love.  You will come home to a family that is just so full of love.

I made a cheesecake for Thanksgiving dessert.  It was a disaster.  My trusty cheesecake recipe failed me.  Or maybe it was this cheap apartment oven.  Either way, it was a mess.  Uncle Todd and I sliced into the cake hoping for a creamy slice of deliciousness and were met with raw cheesecake batter instead.  I threw as much of it as I could save from running onto the floor into a baking dish and baked it again.  I called it Cheesecake Mush.  Everyone still ate it - I think they were just being polite.

We have been approved by our adoption agency!  Did you know that??  Tomorrow we will go to an orientation meeting and figure out just what we need to do next to get you home.  We are so excited, baby.  You are the topic of conversation so frequently.  We don't know you, but we are making plans for you, about you, and around you.  We can't wait to be your Mom and Dad.  We can't wait to be a family of three.  I crocheted a Christmas stocking for Ranger today.  I want to make one for you too... but I'll wait until you're here.

Baby, you will never believe this, but we have been receiving donations from our friends toward the moneys we need to bring you home.  When I say that you are going to be loved, I don't just mean by us.  You are going to come into a world that is full of people who are praying for you, waiting for you, and already keeping a vacant space in their heart just for you.   I hope that you never EVER doubt that you are loved and wanted.  Because you 100% absolutely are.

{The letter that came from an anonymous friend.  What a blessing!}

I want you to know my prayers for you today:

1) That whenever you come, Daddy and I will always be diligent about sharing Jesus with you.  I pray that you will know Him as your Savior.  I pray that you will love Him even better than we do.
2) That God will provide the remaining money - $13,080 is still needed as of today.
3) That you are healthy
4) That you would be here soon.  (My secret hope is that you are here before Mother's Day.)
5) That we bond quickly.
6) That you always feel accepted, wanted, and loved by your family.
7) That I would be the Mommy that you need even when I'm not the Mommy that you want.

There are so many other things, baby.  But that's a good list for now.  I miss you!  I LOVE YOU!!  You had better get used to hearing that, because I have a feeling I'm going to say it to you about 497 times a day.

I'll be dreaming of you!

Always,

Mommy

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Are you missing a baby today?  Do you have a Dear Baby letter you'd like to share?  Let me know and we can link it up!

Dear Baby

Catch up on what Dear Baby is all about here

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Dear Baby,

It snowed this week!!  Will you love snow?  I loved to play in the snow when I was little.  I can remember your grandma building snowmen with me, and making maple snow.  I hope we make sweet snow memories like that.

We filled out the application for our adoption agency this week.  One step closer to being with you!  

We're also looking for a new home, one with a little more space for you and all of your stuff.  It's awesome to think that we are looking for the home where we will bring home our first baby.  It makes the process so special.  As I look at these houses I picture you.  I see you coming home, having tummy time, learning to walk, having birthdays, playing with Ranger.  I can't wait!! 

I'm praying for and about you constantly.  Just waiting and waiting and waiting.  It's so hard to not know when we'll be together.  It's so hard to wait.  But, there's no other way.  So wait I will.

I bought you a little something this week too.  You can't have it today, but someday it will be yours.  Can't wait.  Can't wait can't wait.

Do you know that I love you already?  Know it.  It's so true.  I am so crazy about you.

Someday soon, sweet babe you will be here.  And I will tell you every day that I love you and am glad that I'm your mom.  I will tell you that you are the answer to my prayers, a dream come true.  When you're here I'll hold you as much as you'll let me.  I'll do everything I can to make you feel safe and loved and wanted.  Because you are, baby.  You are.

Till we meet face to face....

Always yours,

Mommy

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Have your own Dear Baby letter you'd like to share?  Let me know, we'll link it up.

Dear Baby...

See what Dear Baby is all about here

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Dear Baby,

Good morning sweet one!  I wish I knew what you were doing today.  Are you growing in a belly somewhere?  Are you being loved on by a foster family?  Are you genetic material waiting to create life? 

{uh -- I'll explain that one to you later.  Much later.}

Last night Aunt Megan and I were at a store and I found myself (as usual) in the baby section,  picking out clothes that I would buy for you if you were here.  I got a little teary, baby, while I was looking through those teeny tiny clothes.  My heart is longing for you to be here.  I am weary in the waiting.  I've dreamed of you for so long and it some days it feels like you will never be a reality.  

I want you to know, though, that I won't stop working.  And fighting.  And moving forward.  FOR YOU.  Ever.  And when you are here, I will still fight for you.  I will defend you.  I will protect you.  I will help you grow.  I will teach you and feed you and love you every minute of every day.  You are so wanted, baby.  You are already so loved.

Today I'm calling our agency to set up a meeting and take another step forward.  I can feel the momentum building, I can feel you getting closer.  And I'm so grateful.

Hopefully it's not too much longer.

Till then, my darling babe, rest and grow.

Always,

Mommy

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Have your own Dear Baby letter you'd like to share?  Let me know and we can start a Linky Party.

Dear Baby...

When I first met "C" and thought that we were heading toward parenthood (read about that story here) I started a journal.  Every entry was a letter to our baby.  After that adoption fell through, I continued writing these letters.  We don't know who our baby is yet, but someday I want to share with him or her all of their story.  Their story started with "C" and that baby we never knew.  That is what gave us the kick-start we needed to get our adoption ball rolling.

So I thought I would start a weekly Dear Baby post.  A letter to my child, whoever and wherever he or she may be.  An honest look at my heart, and a record for them of how I'm feeling right now today.  

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Dear Baby,

Hi.  I miss you.  I don't even know you, but I miss you so much.  I'm thinking of you and praying for you every day.  I daydream about what you will look like and how you will enter our lives.  On this past Sunday, your dad and I sat in church with your cousins Sophie, Henry, and Asher, and a friend of theirs, Mia.  Daddy, me, and four little faces.  It was a glimpse of what could be.  It was renewed hope and motivation. 

I pray that you'll be here with us someday soon.  I pray that you'll know love, and joy, and comfort.  I pray that you will know how much we wanted you.  I hope you never feel unwanted.  We want you.  We long for you.  We will work hard to get you here.  We will fight for you. 

Wherever you are, baby, I love you.  You already have a place in my heart.  You already have an identity as my child, even if you aren't here yet.  I can't wait to hold you, kiss your baby cheeks, and whisper in your ear that I love every morsel of you.  I can't wait to introduce you to your family.  I can't wait to cuddle up as a family on Saturday mornings and revel in the peace of being together.  I can't wait to read you stories and tell you about Jesus.  I can't wait to hear you laugh.  

You are so special, baby.  You are ever so special.

Always,

Mommy

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Have your own Dear Baby letter you'd like to share?  Let me know and we can start a Linky Party.