Well, life goes on.
We did not bring home a baby in October.
We had to move forward.
We have to embrace the life we have been given even on the days when the circumstances aren't what we would choose. So we've been busy. Here's what the last few months have looked like at our house.
Kain and I took our bruised hearts to the beach the week of the baby's due date. It was not the same as becoming parents, but it was a great time of rest, relaxation, and repair. It was good. It was needed.
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| The view from our hotel balcony -- we even saw dolphins one day! |
When we got back from vacation, I started a new job! My RN goal has always been to work somewhere on the OB floor, and towards the end of the summer I finally had enough nerve to apply. I was beyond thrilled when I was offered a job a few weeks later at the same hospital where I already worked.
I was nervous that my fresh "no baby" wounds would be kept open and raw in this environment. Fortunately instead, I am loving every minute. I am now working in the Special Care Nursery. A Level II nursery where I care for the tiniest most vulnerable patients. It's everything I wanted out of my role as an RN. Challenging. Full of heart. A little bit scary.
Then came Thanksgiving. We spent the day with my family - eating, decorating a Christmas tree at my mom's house, playing cards.
That morning before the festivities began, I allowed myself a moment alone in our empty nursery holding a "My First Thanksgiving" onsie and mourning the memories we wouldn't be making that day. I had big expectations for what this holiday season would look like. Expectations that were definitely not being met.
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| Thanksgiving 2014 |
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| Happy Thanksgiving, mom |
The weekend after Thanksgiving, Kain's family got together for an early Christmas. His grandparents spend the winter in sunny Florida, so we usually celebrate early so they can be included.
We did a gift exchange, Kain's mom made three different kinds of yummy soup, and everyone took some family pictures at the end. It was a great time together.
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| Grandpa Dick and Grandma Betty. Love. |
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| Kain's family |
At the beginning of December, our church hosted a community Christmas gathering. Kain and I were part of a live nativity. We played Mary and Joesph. It was about 4 degrees outside, so I let poor baby Jesus Isaac lay on that cold manger for 0.7 seconds before I wrapped him up in my bathrobe and snuggled him close (His parents, our friends Amy and Kendall, were leading the music)
Christmas came and our new house was transformed into Party Central!
Our Missional Community Group got together for a super fun evening of games and feasting and photo booth props the weekend before Christmas. I love these people so much. I wish we could just all find houses on the same street and hang out every single day!!
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| My girls -- also, I got my hair cut! |
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| Isn't he dapper with his top hat and pipe? |
Then tragedy struck --- ok not really, but I did get the flu and was seriously so so SO sick! I have never felt that miserable. I flopped on the couch, feeling lousy, on a Saturday night and didn't get up until Tuesday. Ugh. I don't even want to remember. All I can say is "thank you, God, for allowing people to invent Tamiflu!!"
On Christmas Eve we went to church for our traditional candlelight service. It's one of my favorite things, when the lights go out and then little by little the room fills up with the glow of candlelight. A beautiful reminder that we are the light of the world, commissioned to spread the good news of Jesus like wildfire.
I tried to avoid contact with everyone for fear of inflicting my horrible germs onto them. But did convince our friend Chris to hold my phone long enough to take this picture of us. It's my new favorite
We had to reschedule the Christmas get-together with my family due to the above mentioned weekend of ick, but on Christmas Day, I was feeling much better and had Kain's family (plus an uncle) over for brunch which extended into dinner. Unfortunately - I didn't snap a single picture of that day. Maybe that's a good thing, I was in the moment and not holding a camera/phone. I'll call it a win.
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| Here's a picture of Ranger and the Christmas tree instead! |
I had to work all day on New Year's Eve, so we kept that evening pretty mellow. Wine, a movie, and an alarm on the phone so I could wake up at 11:55. I did wake up, but then I fell back asleep until Kain said, "babe, you have 30 seconds!" I opened my eyes long enough to watch the ball drop and then headed to bed! I'm a party animal, can you tell?
New Year's Day we stayed home, made a pork loin and sauerkraut, and enjoyed a quiet day in.
Scrabble and champagne were on our agenda. And neither disappointed.
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| Let the record show that I won. |
The next weekend my family came over for our rescheduled Christmas. It happened to fall on what would have been my dad's 70th birthday and that made being all together even more special. My mom gave each of us a huge binder she put together full of at least 6 generations of our genealogy. What a gift to see pictures of our grandparents and their families, to read about our great grandparents journey to America, to know everyone's middle name! We played games, ate (do you sense a theme?? It seems like all I did was eat for like five weeks straight!!), exchanged charitable gifts (Kain and I gave donations to our adoption agency's fund that provides resources, education, and counselling to adopted children throughout their entire life) and of course, took some photo booth pics.
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| My seester. She thinks she's so clever. Obviously I'm the nice one. |
And that's about it! Now it's almost the middle of January and all is well.
Adoption is still on our minds and on our horizons. We still love Jesus above everything else. We still love spending our time with our friends and family. Ranger is still the cutest smartest dog ever.
I'm hopeful that this year this blog will document the days we become parents. I'm hopeful that 2015 will be a year to remember. I'm hopeful.
What about you -- what have you been up to??
