Breaking the News

Kain and I met in 2007. I say it was a blind date, he says that lunch at Wendy's with my brother and nephew sitting with us at the table doesn't count as a date. Regardless, we both agree that it wasn't a love connection. We didn't see each other again for over a year, and it took a few months after that for us to really begin to warm up to one another. 

We had so many reasons not to date each other. We were resistant even to the idea! Fortunately for us, we were surrounded by friends and family who knew us better than we knew ourselves. Fortunately God is bigger and smarter than our own concepts of what we want and need. 

After months of persuasion and pressure from our friends we went on a real date. It was while Kain drove me home from our dinner and shared with me his testimony and desire to be a godly husband and father someday that I knew. I knew that I had just been on my last first date. I knew that night that someday I would be his wife.

{Summer 2009}

*****

During my dating days, I felt that the best way to handle knowing about my infertility was to be honest about it. I felt like if a relationship was going to have any chance of success, all involved parties needed to have all the facts. I can say that not being able to "have my own kids" was an issue for some guys and since it was an unavoidable part of my reality, those relationships did not progress. 

 I remember that it was a Sunday afternoon. Kain and I were at my brother's house having lunch with his family. My sister-in-law asked me in private if I had told Kain yet about my medical background. I said to her, "I will, but I just want to make sure that he's serious about us moving forward" It was maybe an hour later that my sweet guy told me that he planned on marrying me one day. I was overjoyed to know that we were on the same page, but terrified that he would change his mind once he knew the truth. 

After I spilled my guts, Kain was very supportive. I told him that if life were a buffet, I wouldn't put infertility on my plate and I didn't suppose he would either. I told him to take his time and think about it, because it wasn't something we could change. I told him that he had a free pass to walk away with no hard feelings, that I would be crushed but I would understand. 

We parted that evening with Kain saying that he had a lot to consider and we would talk the next day. I was sure that he would run. Who would pick this? Who would choose paperwork and home studies over morning sickness and epidurals? To me, infertility was the end of hope, the end of promise, the end of dreams. To me, it would be worth walking away. 

The part of this story that I love the most is what happened next. Kain didn't run, but he didn't  make light of a life altering decision either. He prayed about it, sought counsel from a wise friend, and talked openly with me before making his choice. Then he sat me down and told me the most heartwarming thing I've ever heard. 

"Katie, I love you and I want you to be my wife and the mother of my children; no matter where they come from. "

{Swoon}

He chose me. And everything messy that choosing me entailed. He is my best friend and my favorite guy. I'm grateful every day that he decided to stay. I wouldn't want to travel this journey through life and adoption with anyone else by my side. 

{Summer 2013}